As I age, my worldview and opinions change. Each year, I become more accepting of myself and others, more liberal, more relaxed, and happier. I also like to think I get a bit smarter as time goes on. Which is why I have to recant some of the earlier financial beliefs I posted here. I wouldn’t want you to continue to doubt my intelligence by thinking I still believe everything I’ve ever said on this little ol’ blog of mine.
I started Red Debted Stepchild about 10 months ago. In that time, you guys have let me get away with blogging some seriously warped views on money. Therefore, it is your fault it took me this long to remove my head from my ass. I’ll accept apologies in the form of cash and bottles of wine.
Nah, not really. Y’all know I don’t blame other people for my mistakes. And while I don’t like admitting I’m wrong, and I almost never am do, I’m here to accept my status as a flawed and fickle human being. Look at me, growing. (And not just from Chipotle…)
So let’s work our way through my embarrassing past financial belief system and discuss how I feel now.
Stockpiling Cash — Keep it in your pants
Previous belief — money hoarding is basically a perverted sexual act. In my youth (eight months ago), I wrote a riveting piece about cashgasms, a term I coined to describe the reaction I assumed cash hoarders got from hoarding cash. I thought they were cray and possibly twisted. This post has since been deleted, THAT’S how embarrassingly wrong it was.
Current belief — hoard on. As long as you are not living a miserable existence in pursuit of a fatter bank account than your neighbor, hoard as much cash as you want. Then use it to say “screw you” to a crappy job and retire early. Or blow it all on pizza rolls. I really don’t care. You do you.
Frugality — You’re gross and cheap and I hate you
Previous belief — being frugal is icky. I wrote a piece here on being frugal on accident. Because I would never be frugal on purpose. Frugal people are gross, right? They dumpster dive and steal ketchup packets from fast food establishments.
Current belief — “frugal” and “cheap” are two different words. I have since developed my own working definitions of these two words.
Frugal: not paying more than you have to on goods and services within the realm of your value system. Which, in the logical world I apparently wasn’t previously a part of, makes complete and total sense.
Cheap: employing unethical and/or unsanitary methods of saving money, and neglecting personal health and relationships to literally save pennies.
They may not be perfect definitions, but they work for me.
Early Retirement — Your entire life must absolutely suck
Previous belief — early retirement is dumb. If you drop dead tomorrow, you’re never going to be able to spend all that hard earned money. Because spending money is the true measure of a successful life, you guys.
Current belief — I want to go to there. (If you didn’t read that in Liz Lemon’s voice, please leave. Something is wrong with you.) Okay, so I am still having a hard time fully admitting to this, but here it goes. I want to reach financial independence…before I’m old. Not sure why that’s difficult to say, but there it is.
I really dig my life and I don’t spend much to maintain it, so saving a high percentage of my income is weirdly okay to me now. Even if I don’t live forever. However, I have to get through this whole crippling debt thing first.
I’m sure I’ve said 1,001 other stupid things, but those are my big three. I still fully believe minimalism rocks, Chipotle is the greatest fast food restaurant in the world, I’m not ready to procreate, and the Cheddar Bo Biscuit came straight out of hell.
[Image from imgur]
